सर्वं तु समवेक्षइदं निखिलं ज्ञानचक्षुषा। श्रुतिप्रामाण्यतो बिद्बान् स्वधर्मे निवेशेत वै॥

Since I was on Manu Smriti, you have guessed right.  This is from Manu Smriti, 2.8.  Here is the translation. “A learned person looks on everything with the sight of learning.  Using the sacred texts as proof, he then remains devoted to his own dharma.”  Manu Smriti was composed in a certain day and age.  When we look upon Manu Smriti today, I think 2.8 is extremely important.

Many of the rituals we continue to observe are based on Manu Smriti and the other Dharmashastras.  The word “sthavira” means someone who is aged or elder.  We should get up when an aged person arrives.  But this is more than a normal act of courtesy. ऊर्ध्वं प्राणा ह्युत्क्रामन्ति यूनः स्थबिर आयति। प्रत्युत्थान अभिवादिभ्यां पुनस्तान् प्रतिपद्यते॥  This is 2.120.  When an aged person arrives, the life breath of a young person rises up (and may leave the body).  By rising up to greet the person, that life breath is regained again.अभिवादात् परं विप्रो ज्यायंसम् अभिवादयन्। असौ नाम अहम् अस्मीति स्वं नाम पररिकीर्तयेत्॥ (2.122).  “After greeting and saluting an older person, a brahmana must say “I am so and so” and recount his own name.”  A lady must be greeted in the same way (2.123), I am skipping the Sanskrit for this.  The word भोis rarely used now, though I am sure you must have heard it.  It can loosely be translated as “hello”.  But it is a bit more than that.  भोः शब्दं कीर्तयेद् अन्ते स्वस्य नाम्नो अभिवादने। ताम्नाम् स्वरूपभावो हि भोभावो ऋषिभिः स्मृत तः॥ (2.124).  You don’t necessarily know the name of the person you are greeting. So, after greeting and announcing your name, add the word “bhoh” (bho in sambodhana).  The rishis have said that “bhoh” has the character of any proper name.  It can therefore be used as a substitute.

I met someone who asked me, कुशलम्?  That’s certainly not wrong.  He asked me, “Are you well?”  However, if you follow Manu Smriti strictly, that’s not quite what you should do. ब्राह्मणं कुशलं पृच्छेत क्षत्रबन्धुम् अनामयम्। वैश्यं क्षेमं समागम्य शूद्रम् आरोग्यम् एव च॥  (2.127). Though the words have similar meanings, for a brahmana, you should use kushalam; for a kshatriya, you should use anamayam; for a vaishya, you should use kshemam; and for a shudra, you should use, arogyam.  परपत्नी तु या स्त्री स्याद् असंबन्धा च योनितः। तां ब्रुयाद् भवतीत्येवं सुभगे भगिनी इति च॥ (2.129)  If it is someone else’s wife and is also not related to you by birth, you should address her as भवती, सुभगे or भगिनी.

What of marriage?  I am not giving you the Sanskrit, because nothing seems to be gained from that.  3.21 tells us there are eight kinds of marriage – brahma, daivya, arsha, prajapatya, asura, gandharva, rakshasa and pishacha.  Manu Smriti tells us that there are differing views on which form of marriage is permitted and which is not.  However, what is clear is that rakshasa and pishacha forms of marriage are not recommended.  What are these 8 different forms of marriage?  Take brahma first, described in 3.27.  I am not giving you the Sanskrit, because how many people are interested in brahma marriages now?  But I am certainly cautioning you.  Don’t trust translations, they can often be inaccurate, even if not deliberately.  A brahma form of marriage occurs when the father of the bride himself summons a groom who is of good conduct.  He then honours her, bedecks her in garments and bestows her.  We move on to daivya, described in 3.28 and also not common now. Such a marriage occurs when there is a sacrifice and there is an officiating priest.  When the ornamented daughter is bestowed on the officiating priest in the course of the sacrifice, this is known as a daivya form of marriage.  Nor is an arsha form of marriage, described in 3.29, common.  This occurs when the maiden is given away after receiving from the prospective bridegroom, in accordance with the prescribe rites, a cow and two bulls, or double that number.  So some kind of bride-price is being offered.  The prajapatya form of marriage is common even today, described in 3.30.  This happens when the bridegroom is honoured and the maiden is given away (by the father) with the words, “May the two of you follow dharma together.”  An asura form of marriage, described in 3.31, is when there is even more of a bride price.  The bridegroom obtains the maiden after giving you away as much of riches as he can afford to the girl and her relatives.  When a bride and a bridegroom voluntarily have a marriage, with desire and intercourse as the primary objective (explicitly mentioned in 3.32), that is a gandharva form of marriage.  The forcible abduction of a marriage, when she is weeping and her relatives have been wounded and killed and their houses shattered, is a rakshasa form of marriage (3.33).  In a pishacha form of marriage (3.34), a girl who is sleeping, intoxicated or distracted is forcibly imposed on.  Thus, this is a bit like rape.  Rakshasa and pishacha forms no doubt continue, given the status of women even today.  However, we would probably like to think that our present forms of marriage are either prajapatya or gandharva.

Among the joint duties of a husband and wife is revered treatment of guests, a part of Indian culture.  What’s the word for guest or visitor?  You will say अतिथि and indeed, that is correct.  But तिथि means a day.  Why is a guest called अतिथि?  I will give you Manu Smriti’s answer (3.102) and I am certain you did not know this.  A guest is called अतिथि because he stays only for a single night.  In any event, he does not stay for a long period of time.  In 3.102 and subsequent shlokas, we are told how a guest must be treated well.  If he is not treated well, he will take away the merits of the householder.  You do not eat without offering food to the guest first.  If you do that, after death, you will be devoured by dogs and vultures (3.115).  But even before guests, newly-married women, pregnant women, the young and the sick must be fed (3.114).  The householder and his wife eat only after these, guests, brahmanas, relatives and servants have been fed (3.116).  Foreign visitors to Indian households are often surprised that the wife does not eat with them, but only after they have finished.  There is gender discrimination there.  But that’s part of the legacy, though that legacy was gender neutral.  Both the husband and the wife did not eat until guests had eaten.

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