Mumbai. Saturday afternoon. Employees were taking lunch in an office. The office was on 10th floor of a building. The building was located near marine drive.
Ramanathan was eating idli sambar and Kulkarni madam was having chapati curry. Guptaji was busy doing some calculations having no time for lunch. He was doing one more secret business in free time.
The receptionist – Monika Mantare who was wearing the shortest mini skirt available on earth, was busy talking on phone with her boyfriend while many visitors were waiting for getting her attention.
Raju peon was sitting on a bench outside front glass door while listening to Dhoom Machale song on his mobile from the movie Dhoom2.
Suddenly a dhoom dhoom sound came from somewhere! Office window was broken and a web came inside the office from the window. The web captured Ramnathan’s idlis and snatched away with the web outside the window.
Ramanathan got angry and went near the window and peeped through the broken window. Outside the window was Spiderman glued on wall eating the idlis like a glutton. His mask was hanging on a nail.
Ramanathan: Hey bizarrely dressed joker! Give me my idli back!
Spiderman: No Sir! Let me eat! I am too much hungry! I am Spiderman! Don’t you know?
Ramanathan: Spiderman? Oh? Spiderman! The Spiderman who eats scientific spiders and has overconfidence about himself that he can jump here and there? That Spiderman you are?
Spiderman: Sir! I am world famous superhero! How come you don’t know me? And I don’t eat spiders. I was once bitten by a spider.
By this time, all office employees were gathered near the window listening to the conversation.
Ramanathan: But why did you come in India? And why in Mumbai? Why in our office?
Spiderman: (gulp) You ask so many questions! Good. I like the questioning people. But wait. Let me eat idli. I am hungry. I will answer you after that.
Ramanathan: Hey incy wincy Spider!. You are really great. I liked your style of eating idli. By the way what is your web made of?
Spiderman: Arey yaar! Wait a bit. I will come inside and answer everything!
Ramanathan: Come on in man! Come in.
Spiderman came in. All gathered around him.
Spiderman: First of all thanks to you Ramanathan for your idli. And sorry that I stole it from your plate. But you know,hunger achche achcho ko badal deta hai (Hunger transforms people’s behaviors!). I also changed. I became idli chor. Paapi pet ka sawwl hai.
Ramanathan: Relax man relax! You seem to be fan of Bollywood. Good. But why are you in such situation? Tell me!
Spiderman: I will tell how I came here. I was busy resolving the problems of Americans. I taught thugs lessons. All citizens started depending on me and Police became idle. While I was clinging to an airplane chasing a dreaded terrorist, the plane went over Arabian Sea and Mumbai city. There I saw a black masked person jumping to catch an Indian airplane. He was probably trying to save the stranded passengers due to jammed wheels. The children inside plane were calling him Krrish Krrish. I got lost in thoughts by seeing that powerful superhero and suddenly we both collided and I fell down on this building…I was hungry and smelled idli…
Ramanathan: Ok. Ok. But, why didn’t you again throw your well famous web on the plane?
Spiderman: Actually, you know I crossed 45 of my age. Nowadays, I cannot generate much web as I was able to do earlier in my 20’s and 30’s. Even if I send webs, it breaks down. I have broken my bones many times. I tried but web didn’t reach far. Let Police catch the thugs. It’s their job. I will not do.
Kulkarni Madam: Ok. Ok. Let it be! Come! Sit. Generate at least some web for me. I do crocheting in my free time in office.
Spiderman gave some web to her. She became happy and started weaving then and there.
Kulkarni madam: Spidey! Do you want to eat chapati?
Spiderman: No. I am full now. May I ask you one thing? Can I get a job somewhere in Mumbai? I am fed up of chasing criminals. In Mumbai, no one will recognize me if I work without my mask. Or can I do a job here? In this office? Where is your boss? I want to meet him. I desperately need a job.
Guptaji: Go inside the cabin! Boss is sitting there. Ask him for a job.
Spiderman went inside the cabin.
Shah: Who are you with this bizarre red dress?
Spiderman: I am Spiderman. I need a job. Take my interview.
Shah: Spiderman? Oh ho? The Spiderman? The great Spiderman? Means you are Pittar Purkar. I heard what you said outside my cabin to all my subordinates.
Spiderman: No Sir. Why are you joking about me? I am not Pittar Purkar. I am Peter Parker.
Shah: What are you qualifications?
Meanwhile Monika Mantare came inside the office for some work… while Raju peon was still listening to Dhoom Dhoom. This time it was Dhoom3.
Monika: Why are all gathered together? What happened?
Kulkarni Madam: Spiderman came to our office to find a job. He is there inside the cabin of our boss. See from the glass doors.
Monika fainted…
Meanwhile inside the cabin –
Spiderman: My qualifications? Well, at 30, I was able to send a web with speed of 400 km/hr and one string of cobweb was thick like a rope. Nowadays, very thin string goes with 40 km/hr.
Shah: So, other than sending webs you don’t know anything. First tell me, are you looking for a part time or full time job?
Spiderman: Anything will do Sir!
Shah: I will offer part time job to you. Come daily to my office at 10 am. Generate as many web as you can till 11 am. I will try to sell it in market or use it for producing clothes if possible. Then as per the profit I earn, I will give you 50% of it. Will that do? But, I want a promise. Do not tell this to anyone in this office.
Spiderman: Ok done. Promise. But give me some advance money.
Shah gave him some money.
Shah: Now, jump down from my cabin window. Don’t disturb my subordinates more. Go and roam free on Mumbai streets. You can’t afford a flat here. So start spending your nights on roof tops, tower tops. And yes! Do not sleep on footpaths. People will mow you down under their cars!
Spiderman: Ok! Thank you!
Shah: And remember! The day you reveal your identity, your job is gone!
Spiderman jumped down from window.
Boss Shah came out from his cabin.
Shah: Guys! Don’t chit chat. Do your work!
Fainted Monika got consciousness with Boss’s loud voice.
Monika: Where is Spiderman? Where is Spiderman? Is Mary Jane also with him? If not, I will become his Mary Jane.
Shah: Monika! Go back to work. I suggested him to go back to America. Go and greet our visitors!!
Spiderman sat on marine lines watching sea waves. He took out his mobile and opened WhatsApp. There was a group of worldwide superheroes/superheroines and their girlfriends and partners called – “Avengers’ Atrangi Adventures”
He didn’t type anything. Just observed the messages!
Batman: Guys! I had gone to Australia with my ‘bat’ to play cricket. But Tendulkar made me out on first ball. So, I became depressed and sat in a graveyard. At 12 midnight, bats gathered around me and gave me power. But, they warned me to never play with Tendulkar to save myself from defeat.
Iron man: Hey Batman. Don’t worry. Relax. We will gather for a party tonight to celebrate your defeat! Where is Spiderman nowadays? He seems online. Haven’t seen him since long in person.
Stumps man: Hey guys! I am a stumps man. I play cricket. And stump the batsmen in first ball. I am new entry to your group.
All welcomed him.
Black widow: Hi there! I am here!
All men: Hi Hello! Hi Hello! How are you?
Shaktimaan: Hi all. Let us add Krrish in our group. He is the newly born superhero.
Black widow: Yes! Let us take him in our Avengers group also. He is so handsome.
Mary Jane: Hi all. I am waiting for spidey to come. I haven’t seen him for a while!
Phantom: Hi all. I just came from my skull cave. I nowadays got bored with all jungle stuff! I want to join the city lights. Take me in your avengers group.
Thor: But man! You don’t have any super power! What will you do?
Phantom: Don’t forget! All animals of jungle are my friends! I can call them anytime, anywhere!
Hawkeye: Ok. Ok. Fine! I will ask some animal to bite you. So you will become phantonimal man!
All started typing smileys!
Phantom: Shut up all..
Spiderman threw away his mobile due to the ridiculous whatsapp group. He also threw his spider clothes and became a common man in common clothes.
Spiderman: I need to stay away from America for a while. Let me see if the people of America remember and need me or not while I am away? Till then I will find another full time job.”
He started walking on the road. He felt unconscious due to burning Sun.
